When I was about 8 or 9, my father taught me to shake hands. “No limp fish!” he explained as he taught me to grip the other person's hand making sure our thumbs met. (I really hate it when men prevent me from shaking hands properly by grabbing my fingers instead of my palm. They're not going to kiss my hand, and it hurts when they smash my fingers together. Growl.)
Bob Sutton's post, Handshakes and Job Interviews:Study Shows it is Especially Helpful for Women, explains why.
To me, the most interesting finding pertains to women. The researchers found that, on average, women had weaker handshakes than men. Probably because their are different expectations for men and women, women's weaker handshakes did not lead to weaker hiring recommendations (In fact, overall, the interviewers were more positively disposed to hire women than men). BUT those women who had firmer and stronger handshakes, and used more complete grips, benefited more than men who had firm handshakes and complete grips — the researchers suggest that this effect may have been seen because men are expected to have firm shakes, and because it is more unusual among women, those women with firm handshakes were more memorable.
His post has a link to the study.
If you're not sure how to shake, find another person because it's hard to practice this yourself. Walk up to the other person, and respect their personal space, so stand about 2 feet away. Much more, and the person with the shorter arms has to extend his/her arm a lot and can fall off balance (that would be me). Much closer and you might be too close. Now, both people extend their hands to each other, bending at the elbow. It's most comfortable to shake with a bent elbow. If you're too far away, take a small step closer.
Now, slide your hand into the other person's hand, palm to palm, and don't stop until you meet the skin between their thumb and forefinger. All the way please. No shaking fingers. Take a firm grip. This is not a squeezing contest, so you don't have to squeeze, just maintain a firm grip. Now, gently bring your hand up and down a couple of times. It helps to smile and say, “Nice to meet you” and use the other person's name.
I let go after a couple of up and downs. I drop my hand to my side and maintain my smile. If you feel the other person let go, you let go too.
Handshakes are a social nicety, so learn how. And, they help establish rapport no matter where you stand in an interview.
You’re right: handshakes say alot about a person. Things like firmness, or the little squeeze before release say a person is confident, yet caring, even nice.
But, watch out for over-pumping, the dreaded two-fister, and the total train wreck finger braid….yeah sorry, that was awkward.
I’ll try to remember how to shake a real woman’s hand, not a princess or a diva’s.
Nice post, thanks, Tristan.
The handshake deconstructed. More info than you ever knew existed on handshakes: http://www.manager-tools.com/2006/04/secrets-of-a-great-handshake
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I guess this is only true for US or Western world. At least in the world I live in I never heard of using handshake as a parameter 🙂 But then I guess with the new wave of people who have read all these american body language books, it’s kind of becoming a fad to judge people by their body language, how they look, how they shake hands, etc … But people forget cultural backgrounds are important and there are no general rules to help you out.
Many people get diseases form hand shakes, imagen how much people don’t wash their hands after unsing the restroom and then you shake hands with them…
I remember when I was still in my college, I had friends who made sure to shake hands on every important occasion. It’s a primary step to persuasion. Now, I use it regularly.
What nonsense. What does a handshake have to do with job qualifications? NOTHING. Keep your eyes on the objective not some over-hyped “indicator” of some kind of personality tell. The objective should be what you want to achieve by hiring this person, not how they tie their shoes or whether they have cheese on hamburgers or not. If you want them to solve a problem, ask them how they would solve it. Simple as that. Also, don’t make personal decisions for them like, it’s too far of a commute. That’s THEIR decision. They wouldn’t be at the interview if they weren’t willing to drive there.
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