By now, you've probably seen the Wall Street Journal article on happy hour, or seen the various news coverage stories mourning the loss of drinking after work. What caught my eye was a video of a man asking, “Why should I work longer for free?”
He has a point.
He should not work longer for free. Instead, management should make it possible for people to gain the supposed value of happy hour at work.
Here's what people think happy hour is good for:
- Finding mentors
- Getting to know the real human because there's little time to do that at work (!!)
- Building relationships
Excuse me, but that's a load of crap. That's fake team-building. Sure, alcohol loosens inhibitions. Why, exactly, would anyone want looser inhibitions at work?
Only the people with the power over others. (Also, see Power, Management, and Harassment: It’s a Cultural Problem to see the effects of some of that power-over behavior.)
These goals are great. The tactic (happy hour) stinks. But there's an easy way to achieve those goals. That's a common place for people to gather and eat during the day. It's called a “cafeteria.” What do people do there? Eat lunch and talk to other people, including people they do not yet know.
The Value of Cafeterias and Lunch
When I was an early-career software developer, lunch was the highlight of my day. While I loved getting lost in the design and the code and the tests, I'm a big-time extrovert. I needed to talk with other humans. Lunch, in a cafeteria, allowed me to choose who to sit with and talk to.
Since I'm so shy and retiring (not!), I often chose new people every day. These cafeterias had long tables of six or more. Those tables discouraged cliques and encouraged socialization.
Since I know I'm sometimes oblivious to conversations in progress, I asked the already-seated people, “May I join you?”
Sometimes, they said they needed to finish a specific conversation. No problem. I could find another table. But more often, they said yes, and I joined them.
Those conversations helped me learn a ton about project, program, and product management before I ever considered transitioning into project management. I also heard a lot of whining—and joined in—about management. I learned a lot about what not to do and a little about what to do.
But more importantly, I used these conversations to build relationships with other people. I could empathize with their work and the challenges they felt. This is how we build our small-world networks across the organization.
This is back in the 70s, 80s, and the early 90s. While I probably could have benefited from a mentor, I never sought one out. And no one volunteered. (Am I surprised? Absolutely not!)
As an added benefit, since this was lunch, no one hit on me because they were drunk. I wonder about the value of happy hours for people who are not looking for a hookup.
Happy Hours Offer Little Value
When I was single, I did go to some happy hours with my colleagues. We did not talk about work. Instead, we talked about things to do, such as bicycling, sights to see, and events to consider. And we talked about our managers, who seemed to think that hooking up at work was a good thing.
That hookup problem exists for both men and women. Women, because there's the power-over dynamic. Men, because they either use alcohol as an excuse for power-over, or because they get accused of that behavior.
No one wins once alcohol is involved, and people's behavior degrades. (Same goes for any substance that reduces inhibitions.)
However, there's a larger problem at play here. There are many people who do not like happy hours, and who want to build their relationships across the organization:
- Introverts. While some introverts much prefer to stay ensconced in their offices, others recognize the value of in-person conversations. Happy hours don't work for them. Lunch might.
- Parents. We do not pay enough attention to the need for parents to get home at a reasonable hour and do the dinner-bedtime thing. As children grow, it's the dinner-homework-bedtime thing. And for the various sports, it's the carpool logistics plus all the other stuff.
- Handicapped people. When I became deaf in my right ear, I no longer wanted to go to bars. I have a difficult time in some restaurants because the noise is so loud, I literally cannot hear anything. (I have tinnitus in my hearing ear when the ambient noise gets loud.) And let's not forget the people who use assistive mobile devices. They cannot stand at a table in a bar. I can barely get on a barstool because I am too damn short.
- Any organization that chose to be distributed/remote first. Mark Kilby and I recommend they plan to get together on a frequent-enough basis so the people can connect. Consider quarterly and then decide from there.
Why would we exclude these people from our small-world networks?
Lunch, in a cafeteria, is an excellent alternative to happy hour.
Bring Back the Cafeteria
In Practical Ways to Lead an Innovative Organization, I explained the value of all the various physical spaces knowledge workers need and when.
- Private space, for concentration. Or make private phone calls.
- Collaborative space, for pairing, swarming, or mobbing. Or for workshopping.
- Larger and more general meeting space for learning. Cafeterias are great for that, too.
Learning events are a terrific way to build our small-world networks, and possibly, find learning partners and mentors.
It's time to wave goodbye to happy hour. Let's bring back the cafeterias and lunch. That's how we can gain all those so-called benefits from happy hour. We don't need alcohol. We need physical space that fits our needs.
P.S. My Kickstarter for Effective Public Speaking is active right now. Please check it out and decide if you want to back it. Thanks.